#1 Why leave the house and meet new people...
When you can stay home and devour a whole pizza to yourself?
#2 The perfect table for the singles.
Can I reserve this table for the rest of the year?
#3 Don't let anyone stop you from your fort dreams.
Hell yeah! Octopus couch fort of singlehood success!
#4 There's going to be many confused and frustrated females.
Don't know how all the guys are going to explain that one.
#5 Best time to buy candy: immediately after Halloween.
Second best day to buy candy: February 15th.